Today was to be my first day back at work, having discussed the start with my boss nearly a month ago, I didn't expect any issues.. It should be an easy transition, since I have worked there before, and have been doing some "moonlighting" as well.
I decided I would start my work days at 7 am. While I am not a morning person, I hate afternoon traffic even more. It is much safer for all involved if I get up early and miss traffic driving home.
Being slightly OCD about being on time. (For anything) I arrived at the office at aprpoximately 6:45 am. I had already received an e-mail from my dear friend Vici telling me which lovely cubicle was reserved especially for me. I decide today is going to be a good day, since the doors are NOT locked when I arrive. (yeah!)
I locate said cubie with no problem. (Because I had been there before.) The desk contains a CPU, a Monitor, a phone, and desk chair. That's it. I look around, and notice a few desks that are empty (or at least appear to be) so my first mission is to pilfer (aka steal) supplies from these desks. This amounts to a trash can and broken tape dispenser.
6:49 am- unpack, and realize there is not a plug in for my alarm clock. Once again, pilfer through unused desks and *obtain* a power strip
6:59 am- turn on computer and attempt to sign on
7:00 am- realize that I do not have enough information to log onto the desk top
7:01 am- locate Team Leader (TL), and find out that boss is off that day. Inform TL of my sign on problem.
7:03 am- TL calls Computer Geek (CG) to tell her that I need a sign on. (CG is not in yet, so we wait.)
7:15 am- make a cup of hot tead and scour empty desks once again for supplies
7:20 am- realize I have a calendar in my car, and leave to retrieve it
7:30 am- hang calendar on cubie wall with the help of a push pin donated from fellow co-worker
7:35 am- inform friend and cubie neighbor (CN) that I am unable to sign on
7:40 am- Sign onto desktop with CN's sign on. (Thank you CN!)
7:40:39 am- Get to second screen of log in- and use my own- and wait
7:42 am- still stuck at screen #2
7:45 am- go to the bathroom- to waste time-
7:50 am- return to desk to find computer has timed out and is "locked"- requiring CN's password- again
7:51 am- still stuck on screen #2
8:00 am- attempt to call mother- get answering machine at all phone numbers
8:10 am- switch from ice tea to water
8:20 am- do some research, find out that it takes me EXACTLY three spins in the desk chair to get dizzy. Debate furthering research to see how many spins until I puke. Decide puking on your first day back is not acceptable
8:30 am- find out that private e-mail is blocked on work computer, but porn is not
8:31 am- find out that computer is too slow to download porn
8:35 am- start a grocery list
8:36 am- realize I don't need anything at the grocery store
8:45 am- call sister to inform her of the numerous job opportunities at the office
8:50 am- notice that someone has stolen the bulbs from my cubicle light fixtures
8:55 am- sign on the chat board, only to find new computer is also to slow to load it
9:00 am- discuss interesting radiology report with co-worker, and the pros and cons of coding on a post gender- reassignment surgical patient
9:12 am- discuss the need for a pre-break in order to make sure that break time is used to it's full capacity, and the draw-backs of not planning ahead
9:15 am- call Mom again, reach her this time. Discuss the finer points of my day up to now
9:30 am- TL comes by to check status of computer- still stuck on screen #2
9:45 am- TL comes by once again and advises me to go home until problem solved
9:46 am- leave CN a note, and drive home
So, 3 hours later, I had done exactly ZERO work. Here's hoping day 2 runs a little smoother!